Radio Silence

I go through phases of wanting to blog and then not doing it for a while. I don’t *have* to write about everything that is going on with me. Sometimes I want to process things another way. This blog is not a reliable news source. It respresents pages of a diary that fell out of my head while I was asleep.

One Year Later

Those three little words had me up out of my chair.

Well played, Ron. Well played.

Welcome to Fight Club

This Is Your Life

– Tyler Durden

And you open the door and you step inside
Where inside our hearts
Now imagine your pain as a white ball of healing light
That's right, your pain
The pain itself is a white ball of healing light
I don't think so

This is your life, good to the last drop
Doesn't get any better than this
This is your life and it's ending one minute at a time

This isn't a seminar, this isn't a weekend retreat
Where you are now you can't even imagine what the bottom will be like
Only after disaster can we be resurrected
It's only after you've lost everything that you're free to do anything
Nothing is static, everything is evolving, everything is falling apart

This is your life, this is your life, this is your life, this is your life
Doesn't get any better than this
This is your life, this is your life, this is your life, this is your life
And it and it's ending one-minute at a time

You are not a beautiful and unique snowflake
You are the same decaying organic matter as everything else
We are all part of the same compost heap
We are the all singing, all dancing, crap of the world

You are not your bank account
You are not the clothes you wear
You are not the contents of your wallet
You are not your bowel cancer
You are not your grande latte
You are not the car you drive
You are not your fucking khaki's

You have to give up, you have to give up
You have to realize that someday you will die
Until you know that, you are useless

I say let me never be complete
I say may I never be content
I say deliver me from Swedish furniture
I say deliver me from clever art
I say deliver me from clear skin and perfect teeth
I say you have to give up
I say evolve, and let the chips fall where they may

This is your life, this is your life, this is your life, this is your life
Doesn't get any better than this
This is your life, this is your life, this is your life, this is your life
And it and it's ending one minute at a time

You have to give up, you have to give up

Welcome to Fight Club
If this is your first night, you have to fight

Let us begin

Whatever program is used to generate spam with random bits of eloquence, I want it. I plan on doing a David Byrne-style book that reinterprets spam as art.

I mean, just check this shit out. I present to you Exhibit A, entitled “Why?” from Lorie:

“Let us begin,” the court president, a bald-headed and pudgy fleet admiral, said with fitting solemnity. “Let the trial open, let justice be done with utmost dispatch, and the prisoner found guilty and shot.”

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“That last one sounds real interesting. Before I was forcefully enlisted I was taking a correspondence course in Technical Fertilizer Operating.” “Why that’s wonderful! You must tell me more about it, but sit down first, get comfortable.” He led Bill to a deep, upholstered chair, then turned away to extract two plastic cartons from a dispenser. “And have a cooling Alco-Jolt while you’re talking.”

White Room

You are standing in the center of a small white room, featureless except for a speaker grille mounted high in one corner and a single blue button in the center of one wall.

> I NEED TO TAKE A BREAK FROM USING MY X-RAY VISION DREY

Command not understood. Perhaps there is another way to phrase that.

> CANT TALK— BOMBARDMENT BY KRYPTONITE

Command not understood. Perhaps there is another way to phrase that.

> EXAMINE WALL

Which wall? Please specify the north, south, west or east wall.

> EXAMINE EAST WALL

The wall is a smooth and featureless white.

> PRESS BLUE BUTTON

Click.

A burst of static precedes a man’s voice, coming from the speaker.

“What is your second question?”

> ASK “WHAT WAS MY FIRST QUESTION?”

“Your first question was, and I quote, ‘IS MY DAUGHTER SAFE?'”

“You have used your two questions. Good luck.”

The static swells momentarily and is gone.

> LOOKS DOWN TO EXAMINE ONESELF

You appear as you remember. You are whole and unharmed.

> LOOKS TO SEE IF ANYONE ELSE IS IN THE ROOM

You are alone in the room.

> LOOKS TO SEE IF WE HAVE ANY ITEMS WITH US

[Inventory]

You are carrying a Black Magic marker.

> DRAWS A DOORWAY ON THE WALL

Which wall? Please specify the north, south, west or east wall.

> DRAWS DOORWAY ON THE NORTH WALL

There is now a door in the north wall.

> ATTEMPTS TO OPEN THE DOORWAY

The door is now open. You see a red hallway to the north.

>DRAWS A DOORWAY ON THE SOUTH WALL, THEN EAST AND WEST WALLS

There is now a door in the south wall.

The ink from the marker is getting fainter.

There is now a door in the east wall.

The marker has run out of ink.

There is no ink left in the marker.

>ATTEMPTS TO OPEN DOORS

The east door is now open. You see a blue hallway to the east.

The south door is now open. You see a yellow hallway to the south.

> EXITS THROUGH THE NORTH DOORWAY

You are in a red hallway which meets an intersection to the north.

Static echoes through the hall as a voice emanates from a hidden speaker.

“Subject has exited the white room and is now moving into the red hall.”

> _

Instructions

The next post will make sense to the clever (and perhaps bored) reader. Use capital letters to indicate you understand. It will continue for as long as it has to.

Let’s Get a Taco

Maybe the reason I have been lacking in energy and feeling so down is *because* I haven’t been eating meat. So maybe I haven’t felt the same since I stopped, I’m actually worse off. I think I’m going to head over to the Frontier and get a taco. I have a feeling it will be the best taco I’ve ever had.

The Soundtrack Continues

Solitary Shell
– Dream Theater

He seemed no different from the rest
Just a healthy normal boy
His mama always did her best
And he was daddy’s pride and joy

He learned to walk and talk on time
But never cared much to be held
and steadily he would decline
Into his solitary shell

As a boy he was considered somewhat odd
Kept to himself most of the time
He would daydream in and out of his own world
but in every other way he was fine

He’s a Monday morning lunatic
Disturbed from time to time
Lost within himself
In his solitary shell

A temporary catatonic
Madman on occasion
When will he break out
Of his solitary shell

He struggled to get through his day
He was helplessly behind
He poured himself onto the page
Writing for hours at a time

As a man he was a danger to himself
Fearful and sad most of the time
He was drifting in and out of sanity
But in every other way he was fine

He’s a Monday morning lunatic
Disturbed from time to time
Lost within himself
In his solitary shell

A momentary maniac
With casual delusions
When will he be let out
Of his solitary shell

Must Love Reservoir Dogs

“I love to laugh.” Who doesn’t? I mean, who says “Oh, I just hate it when something is so amusing that I have an unsolicited laughter response, an involuntary tightening of my abdomen coupled with a repeated vocal exclamation.”

Soundtrack for today

Catapult
– Counting Crows

All of a sudden she disappears
Just yesterday she was here
Somebody tell me if I am sleeping
Someone should be with me here
Cause I don’t wanna be alone

I wanna be the knife that cuts into my hand
And I wanna be scattered from here in this catapult
What a big baby won’t somebody save me please
You won’t find nobody home

All of these quiet battered voices
Wait for the hunger to come
We got little revolvers and stupid choices
And no one to say when we’re done
Well I don’t wanna bring you down

I wanna be the light that burns out your eyes
Cause I know there’s little things about me
That would sing in the silence of so much rejection
In every connection I make
I can’t find nobody home

I wanna be the last thing that you hear when you’re falling asleep….